My life has taught me to survive much pain by not to giving up on what is good.  I feel like giving up but then the kind words and invitations to do good by others carries me to another day. I am in so much pain that all I can see and prefer to to see is what brings me down.  It's easier and increasingly confirming to give into what I hear the most.  I tend to believe what is not true because I have habit of dismissing what my heart says and convince myself into decisions that is not of me.  Much of what I tell myself is not of me nor true of who I am.  I know my heart but I cannot stand up to defend it for I lack confidence in my truth.  I come to my resting place of scripture reading and prayers and think on what I have been dealt and practice speaking what is in my heart.  I consider the consequences of my words and other's habitual reactions and I conclude that it is alright for others to oppose for it is well worth practicing to be courageous.  I long to speak my mind and yet I judge myself harshly when I have been wrong that feel hesitant to voicing my words again.  I see that this is my weakness for then it also causes me to judge others harshly in my heart.  I have resolved to listen and speak when I can be of help and when being asked.  When I am wrong I tell myself I am deserving of  same mercy Jesus Christ has shown unto others for I am remorseful and repentant.  I assure myself with kind words and forgiveness and practice saying I can be just as wrong as others and I love myself for truly trying and doing better for what I know to be true and good.  I am not afraid to try because I am not as afraid to make mistake or be wrong for now I encourage myself to be better as easily as I encourage others around me.